he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Who died my cat blue again?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
