Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
