JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
