PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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