Pappa wants mamma naked
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
