I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
