saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Come on in and take your pants off
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