my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
