You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Randomize
