he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
where are you?
Hypothermia
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
