apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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