Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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