fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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