OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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