I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize