i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
