What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's official drugs can't kill me
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
