Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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