went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
