So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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