Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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