i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
