I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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