Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
