I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
