whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
