This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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