I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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