I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
