is your mom at the bar?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
