I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
