Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
