At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
