i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
