toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
