i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
