i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
