i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
