My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
