In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
