Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
