so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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