When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
