She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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