That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
