I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize