um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize