i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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