so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
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