I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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