Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
