Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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