I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
