"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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