First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
