Having a random hookup so left but love u
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
