I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Randomize
