yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
