im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
