I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
